Democracy Nipples

In honour of the election, in accordance with the old voting place sausage sizzle tradition, hubby, nursling 1 and I partook of a democracy sausage after voting last Saturday. We were in the car on the way home when nursling 2 began to complain about her lack of lunch.

“She wants her 2nd hand democracy sausage,” daddy remarked. But sadly democracy milk would have to wait until we got home (it’s election day, so we’re labelling everything democracy). What didn’t have to wait was an extremely relevant conversation about democracy nipples in which who has the rights to my boobs was sorted out (no hung parliaments or weeks of counting ballots here!).

It is decided that each of us gets a vote and 3 candidates are standing for the 2 vacant seats, nursling 1, nursling 2 and daddy (TMI I hear you cry! Don’t worry, there’ll shortly be a completely non-kinky explanation I assure you). Daddy decides that I’m ineligible to run.

We assume that nursling 1 and 2 are voting for themselves. Daddy also votes for himself, which leaves me with the deciding vote. I vote for nursling 2. That’s one seat decided. The second will have to be decided by preferences. My second preference is nursling 1. Nursling 2 has chosen to preference daddy because he doesn’t pull her ears while she feeds. Nursling 1 has chosen to preference nursling 2 because she likes to pat her head and/or pull her ears while feeding which makes her preference redundant how that nursling 2 is has won a seat. Sadly daddy’s second preference cannot be to himself as he’s already voted for himself so he preferences nursling 1.So nursling 1 wins her seat back. Hooray!

Hold on, what does daddy want boob rights for anyway?? Turns out he plans to create a milk shortage, resulting in the prices of milk sky-rocketing and will then make his fortune on-selling the milk to whichever nursling didn’t win possession of their own milk-making apparatus. Sorry daddy, your schemes have been foiled.

So in less than 5 minutes the 2 vacant seats have been filled, the sitting term, however is yet to be decided. If only national politics moved this fast!


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